Terry's Answer: Being nervous around attractive women is not inexplicable at all, nor is it unusual. Almost every man feels the same nervousness. Why? Because there's a lot at stake when you are interacting with someone you want to connect with. These emotions are probably tied to primal reproductive instincts, in that if you blow it with a potential mate, your species may not continue. Fortunately, we have become a bit more evolved and can now understand and deal with those hard-wired instincts. That doesn't mean they don't exist, though, because they certainly do. Even the most confident men get nervous under some circumstances. (I call it "situational shyness".)

A couple of things can help. First, realize that those feelings are normal and natural. If you can direct the adrenaline into positive energy rather than negative, it can actually help. Make yourself "excited" rather than nervous." How do you do that? By realizing the following ideas:

—You have a lot of good qualities and there are a lot of reasons for women to find you attractive.

—Your job is to give a woman a chance to get to know the real you. She has the legitimate right to make a decision whether to like you or not. It is not your job to "make her like you." There is no pressure on you to be anything other than yourself.

—Her opinion of you is not under your control, and it does not reflect reality. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters, because you are the only person who really knows the real you. If her opinion of you is negative, it simply means that she doesn't understand, or perhaps she has different values. It does not mean that you are a bad person. Realizing that you don't have to reshape yourself to please others is one of the most powerful things you can do to take the pressure off.

—You have nothing to lose. Right now, you don't have the kind of relationship you want with her-- if you do nothing, that lack of fulfillment remains. If you do give her a chance to get to know you, she may become a friend or even more. Even if your attempt at contact (or friendship, or whatever) is unsuccessful, you can learn much from the process. You are better off for having made the attempt. Any action is better than inaction.

—You'll become more comfortable with practice. The more you do something, the easier it gets. Pay attention and learn from the feedback you get, and soon you'll be quite confident.

Terry's Answer: Yes, it is possible. I'm the first to admit that it is tougher to get a positive response from a completely cold opening than it is when you have a natural reason to be having a conversation. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Look as hard as you can for a natural way to flow into conversation with her (Be Observant, remember?), but if you can't find it, and she might be walking out of your life forever, then you must go for it.

Yeah, she might say "I'm not interested." I've even had a woman say "Get away from me, creep!" No doubt it is a tough sell. But if I don't say anything, she walks away without knowing me. If I am unsuccessful with my introduction, she walks away without knowing me. It's nothing more horrible than that. I know that I am not a creep. I know that I was making a legitimate attempt to let her get to know a new friend, and I can feel good about that, even if she was too much "on guard" to take advantage of the opportunity.

Do you see the attitude here that makes such courage possible? I must realize that when I start a conversation with a stranger, I am not "hitting on her." I am giving her a chance to make a new friend. I am not "invading her space." I am giving her a chance to expand her horizons. I am not "intruding in her life." I am simply offering her an opportunity to add some additional richness to her life. Looking at it that way, it almost seems negligent to not walk up and start a conversation, doesn't it? Keep in mind that an approach in such a situation still demands politeness, courtesy, respect, and dignity. If you really are just "hitting on her," she'll see through it and probably take offense. But if you are a genuine gentleman, such an approach will start new friendships far more often than you might think.

If you still aren't buying any of this, keep in mind that the whole idea is without validity if you haven't done the groundwork. You have to do affirmations. You have to do the "Good Qualities List." You have to believe in yourself and the fact that you have much to offer.